Important Announcement:

If you left a review on a fic by jettabug (skarlette at ff.net) maybe she didn’t deserve it. There have been two instances of this author being reported for copying fic. I myself was one of the people who noticed. Jetta doesn’t seem to care and keeps re-offending, and then blaming a co-writer who has never been mentioned before now. If you seriously think this author has potential, then you are wrong. Unless you believe that thieving is an acceptable way to progress in this world. Her fics will be taken down from Queertet. When things like this happen, I weep for my fandom. I love the Ducks fandom, how dare people like this ruin it for me?

Seriously, why bother stealing work? I’m furious that this fandom is going so downhill.

Jetta – if you don’t contact me shortly with a very good reason (and the “It wasn’t me, it was Ashlyn” one won’t cut it this time) I will report you to ff.net for plagiarism, you will probably be banned.

This is the link to the person who originally wrote Jetta’s “latest story” and a note on her profile about copying.
Link

These are the links to the reviews the original author has left on Jetta’s account.
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

Cross-posted to thestalkycop ducksficrecs themightyducks and the Queertet and MightyDucksMovies lists at yahoo.

Why is it so difficult to find a fic that’s worth reading? And why don’t authors care when you pick them up on it? Yes, I know I’ve already “broken a rule” by starting a sentence with “and”, but let’s face it, when you put that crime against a huge Mary Sue or a fic composed entirely of net-speak, I’m hardly evil. (Just the Diet Coke of evil, apparently).

Someone on one of the communities I belong to, possibly badfic or fanficrants, said that most authors’ excuses were “I’m not getting paid for doing this, who cares what I write?” and her response was that writers were, in fact, paid for their work. They were paid in time, the time it takes a reader to get through a chapter or an entire story or however much they choose to read.

I don’t think ff.net helps the laziness. People are apt to leave reviews along the lines of “omg! That liek rawks!” which doesn’t really help the writer to learn where they’re going wrong – and the minute they do get a critique that would help, they get defensive thanks to the net-speak omg-ers who have swelled the author’s ego.

Say it with me: Net-speak has no place in fiction.

Actually, while I’m coming up with mantras, let me add: Numbers should be in word, not numeral, form. Don’t be lazy.

The last rule is null and void if the number is over one hundred is supposed to be in numeral form if it doesn’t start the sentence or isn’t right after a colon


Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar
Also, how hard is it to hit the spell-check button before posting your fic? Seriously? It amazes me the amount of errors in stories. It’s not only the little things like using ‘of’ instead of ‘off’, but characters’ names, places, even bog-standard words that get spelt wrong. Really, would it be so bad taking a minute of your time for a more professional finish?

Better yet, find a beta. Betas are wonderful things… um, people. It’s hard to see your own mistakes, but someone else can usually catch them. A beta is not a person who just hits the spell-check button for you (and if it is, that’s laziness on both your parts). A beta should go through your fic carefully, checking not just for spelling mistakes, but grammatical errors, characterisation flaws and any other error (such as using the same word twice in one paragraph). If your beta just sends your fic back with the words “nice work, you missed a comma in paragraph 3” get a better one. I go highlighter-mad on everything I beta.

Oh, and the your/you’re there/their/they’re mistakes drive me up the wall. Here is a key for you:
Your – belonging to, as in: Isn’t that your hockey stick, Fulton?
You’re – you are, as in: You’re my cuddle-bunny, Portman.
There – a place, as in: Isn’t that Luis over there, snogging Averman?
Their – belonging to them, as in: I’ve been to their dorm, it’s small.
They’re – they are, as in: They’re getting married next Tuesday.

So we’ve covered spelling and grammar. By the way, a disclaimer along the lines of “I suk at grama an stuff” is not good enough. You suck, fine. Don’t be lazy, ask someone where you’re going wrong. Get a beta – and don’t just get them to correct it, get them to highlight the mistake and explain why it’s a mistake and how to correct it. That way you learn and will know in the future.

On punctuation, just because you’re using speech marks, it doesn’t mean you can slack off on commas, full-stops and such-like. I’m not going to write about colons and semi-colons because I don’t really use them much. My English teacher always told me to stick with commas and full-stops rather than litter my writing with punctuation that I didn’t quite understand. I’m a big comma fan. Really, I am, but I’m not going to give a huge lecture, because I slept though this part of my English class. If you’re not sure, ask a beta. And don’t trust the list of them on my site, most of them are just there for the early-bird peeks at new chapters. Oh, and I don’t exactly sell myself well on there, since I spelt “beta” as “beat”. (Thank you ofluvandblood for pointing that out). I’m a fairly good beta, if I do say so myself, I have even bribed a few people to agree with me.


Original Characters
What else is bad? Mary Sues. And don’t you just wince when someone writes “New girl at Eden Hall. NOT A MARY SUE!” as their summary? This is a pretty good indication that they’ve been told off for Mary Sue-ing before and think they have worked on the points, but really have just piled even more angst on their Sue.

A character does not need to be angsty to be interesting. She does not need to come from an abusive family/have been raped/been to prison or anything else like that to make her likable. In fact, she’s more likable if she’s just a girl going to school.

A lot of people say that if a character is based on you it becomes a Mary Sue, in my opinion this is not necessarily true. If she’s a perfect version of you, then that’s probably a Mary Sue. Taz is a little Mary Sue-ish, but she is not the centre of attention – or at least I try not to let her be, but she does take over sometimes. She is based on me, she has CHD, I have CHD, she draws, I write… and I think that’s her only talent.

Everyone would like to be a Mary Sue, to be able to draw, sing, dance, play the guitar, be the centre of attention, be adored by all, mouth off to teachers/bosses and get away with it, play hockey, be a genius… and so on, but nobody wants to read about it.

Think about yourself when creating a character, what can you do? What are you good at? Try not to give your character any more skills than you possess. I can’t draw or sing very well, I’m average, but (ego, ego, ego!) I can write. So I exchanged that for Taz’s art skills. I gave her CHD not because I wanted people to pity her (although it came out that way, I’ve grown as a writer since then), but to give her a little more depth – also I have CHD and nobody ever writes about it. Her mother is dead because my father is dead. I write what I know. I guess this is how people fall into the trap of over-angsting their character.

Don’t describe her endlessly, we don’t care that her eyes change colour, we don’t want to hear how slim she is - and if I see one more conversation that either contains “Oh, Mary Sue you’re so pretty” … “No, I’m not” … “Yes, you are” or “Gosh! You’re so skinny, are you anorexic/bulimic?” I will run amok. Especially the last one. I’ve said this on my site, and I’ll say it again: Anorexia and bulimia are LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESSES! To have your character compared to someone suffering from them is no compliment. I mean, seriously, would you be flattered if someone said to you “Gosh! You look like an AIDS sufferer”? Well, would you?

If in doubt, take the Mary Sue test at my site and check out my parody fics. If any of your scenes mirror any of the scenes in my Mary Sue fics, then you’ve probably got a problem. Email me if you want, I’m not a bitch, I’d rather help you with your story than rip it to shreds in my lj later.


Think About What You’ve Written
You’ve written a chapter/fic, great. Now go away for awhile and take a break. Don’t just chuck it up on ff.net with “Plz R&R” in the summary. Take a break, go watch the TV, read or something. Get your mind off your fic. If you can bear to, give it a day to settle. Then go back to it, re-read it, and do this carefully, look for your errors. Ask yourself if it would make sense to someone who is not inside your head and aware of how the plot will fall into place.

If you don’t have a beta, at the very least hit spell-check one final time. Then go post it to ff.net and get your reviews. And when the reviews roll in, don’t just grin at the good ones, if you get bad reviews (“u suk” doesn’t count), think about what the reviewers have said. If they say that your character is a Mary Sue, odds are, they’re right – even if she seems perfectly likeable to you. If they say you need a beta, get one, don’t just apologise in your next chapter about it. If they say you rock, then by all means, rock.

Summary

• Spell-check


• Get a beta


• Don’t Mary Sue


• Think about your fic


• Listen to your reviewers


• Email me if you need help or a beta

Cross posted to thestalkycop and ducksficrecs

Title: On Being Fake
Author: Carla seeksadventure
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes it falls apart. What? Everything.
Quote:

It all fell apart because I forgot how to speak, even though he was the only one I could talk to about not fitting in and never feeling wanted, until he came around. Instead of talking it out and making sense of it all, which he probably could have done, because he did that to every other problem I came up with, I cowered away, too scared.

Ok, what isn’t to like about this? It’s a great follow-up to On Being Real, which I adored. Now, Carla and I talked about it and I knew that they were going to break up, I even knew why, but all the same, my heart ached for Goldie. He doesn’t get enough attention, with the exception of Save and some fics by Cimmy, he’s barely around in the fandom. And yes, I’m well aware that Vic and I completely murdered his character in the Queertet-verse.

But, back to Carla’s fic. So many pretty details that made me ooh and ahh. Like the art books Russ gave Goldberg, and the reasons why they were special. If you’ve never had an unpretty day in your life, you wouldn’t get why that particular part made me wibble, but most people have and I suspected that a fair amount of the other readers wibbled too.

More details that I enjoyed were what was going on with the rest of the Ducks, loved the mention of the Bashes, and Luis… Connie’s pouty-strop where she was throwing things at Julie… ah, bliss.

And I have it on good authority that there will be another instalment of this series, so keep feedbacking Carla and I’ll keep bugging her until it appears. Plus, if you can think of any good words to add on the end of “On Being…” tell her them, it might inspire her to write more. On Being Hurt, On Being Alone, On Being Upset…

*smiles in scary stalker-type fashion at Carla*

ETA: There have been two instances of this author being reported for copying fic. I myself was one of the people who noticed. Jetta doesn't seem to care and keeps re-offending, and then blaming a co-writer who has never been mentioned before now. If you seriously think this author has potential, then you are wrong. Unless you believe that theiving is an acceptable way to progress in this world. Her fics will be taken down from Queertet, I don't want stolen works on my site. When things like this happen, I weep for my fandom. I love the Ducks fandom, how dare people like this ruin it for me?

Title: Don’t Let Go
Author: jettabug
Rating: PG
Summary: Adam Banks’ long-time girlfriend returns from London with shocking news. One, that she’s pregnant with his baby, and two, that she has a terminal brain tumour. Adam is devastated, especially since while she was away, he was trying to rekindle his relationship with Julie Gaffney. Now he must take what little him he has to make it up to his girlfriend – to fill her last days with laughter instead of tears. And to take care of his child the best he can, and live on in her memory.
Quote:

After opening the glove compartment with trembling fingers, Julie reached in and found a pack of tissues. Being Adam’s ex-girlfriend and new close friend suddenly made her wonder where exactly she stood in all of this. It’s not as if I can pick up some etiquette guide from the library shelf that will tell me what to do, Julie thought, wiping her eyes. She could picture the chapter heading: “How to Behave If Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Girlfriend Is Dying Of A Terminal Illness and You’re Suddenly The Closet Thing He’s Got To A Friend.” As Julie grew older, she was beginning to see that there were no answers, you just had to stumble around in the dark and hope you ended up making the right decisions.

First of all, kudos to Jetta for writing a summary. Second of all, kudos for making me actually like Adam. It’s a momentary thing and has already passed. I liked quite a lot of little things in this fic, which surprised me, because I always read Bankst with a little caution. I liked Julie’s confusion over what was right and how she felt about it. I liked Adam’s dreams – although they were a bugger to html.

I actually wanted more. Then again, deep down, I’m quite a Julie/Adam shipper – though what Julie did to deserve that, I’ll never know. I’d like to see a sequel to this fic, I want to know how their relationship develops now that Holly is gone. Will they simply fall into a relationship or will Julie hold back, wondering if Adam is over Holly yet? How would the baby affect them? Basically, if there’s a sequel, I want it to be angsty. Not a major angst-fest, but enough so that it deals with the whole range of emotions that Don’t Let Go started. Why? Well, as I said, I really liked the way Jetta wrote Julie. I liked that Julie knew it was right to step back, but had the (very brief) selfish urge not to because Adam was hers. It was a very human reaction and that did it for me.

Jetta, write a sequel.

By the way, your fic is now archived at Queertet.net

This form has been stolen from the marysues community and amended for me to wreck this fic and the repugnant Mary Sue in it. I hasten to add that marysues are nothing to do with me or my opinions in any way shape or form. I am a member of their community, but I have never yet posted and they are not responsible for my rather scathing wreck of this fic. I think they are now suitable disclaimed from any nasty repercussions of me posting this.

*sighs and waits for the flames to start rolling in*

Story Title: The New Girl
Culprit Author’s Name: Mysterio Jaq – that’s the link to her ff.net profile.
Summary She’s hot. She’s spicy. She’ll kick your ass. In English, plain and old, NEVER EVER MESS WITH HER.Um, the Ducks HAVE a new force to deal with...Read and review? By the way, chapter 7 is now posted.
Rating PG-13

The Mary Sue
Full Name (plus titles if any): Lisa Rodriguez aka Ace “Only call me Lisa when I’m getting an award” – no ego here. (Except that the author constantly fluctuates between the two – so I’ll do the same, just to keep to the theme!)
Full Species(es): Melodramatic-fabulously-naughty-multi-talented-Mary-Sue Human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Cherry red curly hair (tied in a bun, since I know everyone was dying to know)
Eye Color (include adjectives): “Her eyes were the color of sunset, a deep purple... She had tan skin and Asian eyes”
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Having eyes that are both deep purple and Asian? Is that possible? I’m sorry, I live in a lilywhite town (I so hate it), so I honestly don’t know.
Special Possessions (if any): She is cursed by God. Seriously. She runs out into the night and screams at the sky “Why me? Why did you have to curse me God? Why?!”

Annoying Origin: We have yet to find out, but good old Ace did do a self portrait in which “She looked like she was ready to kill someone. Her eyes cried out murder.” I suspect this is foreshadowing towards some sort of incident involving either rape or some kind of fight with knives where Ace was protecting someone younger. She’s not bad, she’s misunderstood. *sigh*
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Dean Portman “helped us earlier this weekend in the apartment” whatever that means, it’s not explained and it’s not mentioned. She kisses him in Chapter 5, and by Chapter 6 the guy is completely whipped. Yes, Dean Portman, the same one that stripped in the penalty box, got thrown out of the Iceland game and generally is as tough as nails (for a Disney character)
Annoying Special Abilities: She’s a hockey player, and in the choir, she can draw/paint, she acts, she does karate and destroyed a punch bag with her strength and her looks turn the entire fandom into a quivering mass of lusting hormones. And a guy called Justin killed himself because she moved away.
Other Annoying Traits: She has a sister named “Wires” because “She’s as thin as one, and is full of sparks.”
She seems to be of no fixed abode. She somehow “moved away” to go to Eden Hall (ch5 – she makes a long distance phone call and finds out about Justin’s demise) yet in Chapter 4 her brother is living locally.

( Chapter by Chapter it is ripped to shreds )

You know what? I can’t face reading any more of this again. This was going to be not just a random bitch at a Mary Sue fic, but a pointer of what went wrong, but I just can’t deal with any more of this fic at the moment. It’s making me want to scream at God “Why did you let her write this, God? Why?!”

The sad thing is, this writer is actually good. She has style, and if she’d just cut down on the teen-angst-I-wear-black-and-listen-to-Evanescence-while-hating-the-world-and-my-life shit, she would make for a very enjoyable read. Ace needs to be less… well, everything. She needs to stop being the centre of attention, she needs to chill out, she needs to have faults.

I haven't updated this for awhile, this is because I've been deliberating over my next entry. I've been toying with the idea of "wrecking" a fic instead of reccing.

This isn't out of spite or jealousy, this is because the fic in question has an original character so damn terrific that the rest of the Mary Sues of the world bowing down in awe.

I'm also due to review a fic by jetta. Don't worry Jetta, yours is not the one I will be wrecking! I like it, I just want to get my thoughts together on it and I can't concentrate yet on your fic while this blasted Mary Sue is annoying me.

The next review will be up shortly.

Title: On Being Real
Author: Carla the Crazy One seeksadventure
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes it’s not easy. What? Everything.
Quote:

It’s not easy being the fat friend.

It’s such a nasty word, fat. My mom always used to call me her fluffy boy, big boned, hefty-anything but the dreaded f-word. I used to think I could say “fuck” and get away with it more than I could if I said “fat”.

Again, I really get off on seeing a new slant on fic. Since this fandom grew – I’m still not sure when that happened, one day there were 13 fics and I was frustrated because you could go for two weeks without an update, now there’s a new fic every day – and every believable storyline has been used already, it’s nice to see something slightly different.

This isn’t a slur on the writers, naturally. I’m just saying, with a fandom that now has 455 fics (at the time of this review), plot lines are used over and over – and it’s really a credit to the authors that they manage to make each story their own.

Anyway, back to Carla’s fic. Why do I love this? Well, obviously as Carla’s Official Stalker and close friend, it’s my job. But bias aside, this is a beautiful fic. I think anyone who has had moments when their self-confidence hits an all-time low will identify with this fic. Everyone has at least once thought their best friends is thinner/prettier/more popular than them. And the romance is gentle and sweet.

It just makes me want to read more. So if you’ve missed this fic, you have missed a treat, and I suggest you go to ff.net and read and review. Reviews give Carla the confidence to write again in this fandom. It’s always hard moving to a new fandom.

Ok, enough rambling.

By the way, if you want to comment on this, hit the ‘wanna quack’ link – this will work whether or not you’re a member, I’ve set it up that way. If you want to write a review, do the same, and I’ll email you. Or you can email me, whatever works.

Title: A World Without Ducks
Author: lycanthrope
Summary: What would happen if Bombay was never nabbed by the police? What would happen if there were no Ducks?

Again with the interesting slant. While it’s true that I devour every word that lycanthrope writes (despite being unable to touch-type her name without getting it wrong the first two times), I do love her new takes on ideas. Plus, this girl is mucho talented. She can write dark, nasty angst, then write a beautiful line that just balances it out nicely so you don’t have to run to the kitchen to get a big knife to slash your wrists with.

And damn, she’s good with the cliff-hangers. I don’t know whether she lets us dangle deliberately, or if it really is true that she sometimes can’t get to a computer.

Quote of the day:

I wondered if Fulton would be able to take this Portman kid. I wondered what would happen to the rest of us if he couldn’t. But most of all, I wondered what the response time was for an ambulance in this neighbourhood. I bet it wasn’t good.

I want to know what happens next. Grrrr! Get writing, lycanthrope.

And on a personal note, her taste in men is amazing. *grins*

Fic Recs of the day: Dana’s Work

All of Dana’s fics can be found here providing that ff.net isn’t screwed again. You’ll notice that I’m reviewing Dana’s shorter or in progress fics here. Why? Well, because I don’t have a month to re-read them all, so I thought I’d start small and work up.

Title: Time To Grow Up
Summary: D3 from Orion’s POV.

I like new stuff, new ideas, and Dana’s idea here, was a good one (much like Schiz’s fic from Daddy Banks’ POV). I just wish there was more of it. So far, just one chapter, but Dana asked for a review and it was the first one that popped into mind. While the chapter isn’t particularly long or detailed, it just reads nicely for me. Orion’s snappy thoughts work for me. So go, read, review, beg Dana for more.


Title: Stuck With You
Summary: An after hours style fic.

Again, new idea – or if it has been done before, I’ve not read it in this fandom. Three Ducks, three Varsity goons, trapped in a locker room after hours. Again, just one chapter, and I want more.


Title: Running On Empty
Summary: The team is invited to Canada for an invitational. And it is starting to look like the Junior Goodwill Games again.

I usually shy away from Banksie angst, in my opinion, it’s been done to death – but then, I’m not over-fond of the character (I have nothing against the actor or fans of Adam/Vinnie, so please don’t flame me for this). But I do like this story. Or maybe I just like Banksie in pain, either way, this is a good read for you Adam fans out there. So read, review, beg for more.

Ok, it's late, I'm tired and I have another review to write.

Title: Missed Chances
Author: Schiz
Summary: A piece of Banksie angst, focusing on young Adam.
Quote:

Eventually, I stopped thinking of Adam as his own person. Danny was The Son. Adam was...I don't even know what I thought of Adam as.

Ok, so you're thinking, more Banksie angst (a fandom sub-category that is already over done), but this piece is truly unique, mostly because it is from Phillip Banks' point of view.

It's a nice bittersweet piece, that paints Adam just right for me, the dutiful son who just deals with things as they are. I don't quite see him as a lot of authors write him - over-reacting, being upset, holding emotions in, I know as a writer I've written him that way, but Schiz hasn't. And I have to say, she did a bang-up job.

Another top fic.

It makes me all tingly just knowing that she and lycanthrope will be working together.